how do you take rejection?
Are you asking how I take it personally or are you asking for advice on how to react to it? I’ll just answer to both I suppose.
Advice for rejection:
Honestly, there’s billions and billions of people that walk the face of this earth daily therefore what’s one person’s rejection? It’s nothing. I know that it stings when somebody turns you down, especially when you’re a teenager and you’re still trying to figure out what love is. I know it’s rough because some people are complete assholes about it and sometimes you even get made fun of for your wishful thinking, etc. But in the end it really doesn’t matter. That person that you like, their rejection doesn’t matter because there’s somebody out there that’s just waiting for you to come around. They won’t reject you. They won’t take for granted having you in their life.
Yes, I do believe that there is somebody out there for everyone. I believe that with everything that I am. There’s no such thing as somebody being out of your league or too good for you. Those things are just stupid ways to keep ‘cliques’ going when you’re a teen and young adult. I mean, really, in the the end you’re going to look just as old as the next person so why the hell does it even matter?
And really, you shouldn’t just focus on that rejection. You should allow it to consume you because that’s not what your life should be about. You should just be living, doing whatever makes you happy and enjoying yourself. It’s nice to have a girlfriend/boyfriend to do that with but really you just need your best friend to do things with. Whoever you date should be your best friend anyways. So, don’t rush love, one rejection doesn’t matter(neither does 100 rejections). Just be happy with yourself because that’s all that could ever matter.
I’m sorry if this seems unorganised and long, it was hard to voice all of my thoughts into that at once.
Oh, and one more thing, don’t take rejection to heart.The majority of the time the person doesn’t want to hurt you. Just because they don’t want to be with you in that manner doesn’t mean they won’t be friends with you. So be content with having them around.
My personal reaction to rejection:
I’ve only been rejected twice(by the same person), so it’s not something I’ve had alot of experience on. Both times I wound up being even closer with that person after it. Anyways and we made good memories so, yes it stung a little but it wasn’t a big deal. I mean, I was happy just to have that person in my life so it truly didn’t even phase me.
I hope that helped or informed you of what you needed grey face.
How many girls have you date?
I’ve dated more girls than I’d like to admit. Some of them weren’t real relationships to me. The girls thought that I really liked them when I was actually being a selfish careless bastard, and I highly apologize to them because I know I hurt several of them. They didn’t deserve any of the shit I put them through. I treated them really bad and I’m sorry for it because it was honestly a mistake.
However, the girls that I’ve dated and actually cared about? That’s just one. I’ve cared alot about two girls entirely in that manner, but I’ve only dated one of those girls.
I hope that gives you the answer you were looking for anon.
whats the current relationship with this girl that you like ?
There is no current relationship with her. I fucked up tonight and she left my life like she should have, so there’s nothing.
I feel like guys only like mean/bad girls, and that there's never room for girls like me who don't want to be so quick to have sex or be mean or anything like that. And when I find a guy who seems like he likes me for who I am, I see him flirting with other girls. What can I do?
Honestly, there are people out there who aren’t like that. I know society has morphed people’s mindsets into thinking that all of that should be acceptable but I definitely agree that it doesn’t have to be.
First off, whatever you do don’t lower your standards. Don’t change and allow your boundaries to break juts cause you want to feel love. I know it’s a lot of pressure but love isn’t being forced into all of that when you aren’t ready. There are guys out there that won’t flirt around or those that won’t go for girls who put off the image you pointed out. It’s all about time and being happy though. Don’t go looking for love, let it come to you. To be able to be happy in a relationship you have to be happy with yourself first. I’m not saying if somebody asks you out don’t accept it because you should take the offer, just don’t rush into things. It’s all going to happen one day. I promise you that. Just try to be content in the other things in life for the time being ‘cause some guy or even a girl will see that and think ‘wow she’s different. I want to get to know her.’
I wish you the best and I hope this helped you in some way mate.
Me and this girl really like each other but she's slept with 15 guys. Is that bad considering shes 16 years old to date someone who's slept with that many guys for her age?
It’s not necessarily a bad thing, as long as she realizes she doesn’t need to sleep with every living thing. I’m not saying it’s good either. Now most people would call her a slut, whore, etc. However, I’m going to try to give you the most positive feedback I can, along with some tips.
If you truly do like each other then I say go for it. Don’t rush into it though. Never rush into a relationship. Take things slow and easy. You don’t have to get physical to be happy together. Here are some tips on working on a relationship with the girl.
- Build your relationship off of trust. Make sure that you stay loyal to her and keep things at her best interests as well as she does the same. Loyalty is very hard to find these days and having that when you go into a relationship will make the bond you share ten times better.
- Set boundaries. Both of you need to set some sort of boundaries. Sit down and talk it out. If she lowers her standards then remind her that she’s more than some toy to you and she doesn’t have to set her standards so low. Girls deserve to be treated like princesses because in reality every girl is beautiful and deserving of that treatment. Society has destroyed morals, which in turn is making girls extremely insecure. Don’t let a girl be like that around you. It usually means that her standards drop and she’ll put out but you don’t want that. You don’t want a girl to lower her standards because she doesn’t feel like she’s enough as it is, so remind your girl that she can put any standards on the relationship. Make her feel comfortable. When you set yours do the same thing, don’t lower your standards for boundaries to make her comfortable! Make them fit to you.
- Keep to those boundaries and stick to them! Don’t set boundaries if you’re just going to push them aside. Stick to them because they’re important to you. Don’t break them if you feel uncomfortable doing so. Keep to them and lean on them whenever things get out of control.
- Have an open relationship. Now I don’t mean open as in go around flirting with whoever you want and all of that. I mean have a relationship that’s fun. Base it around being able to open up to each other, let the other inside your guard sometimes, and don’t be afraid to admit to each other when you’ve messed up. Be willing to talk things out with your partner and don’t forget to be honest!
- Don’t push her away because of her past. We all do things that aren’t the best for us, but that doesn’t mean we deserve to be criticized for it. By this I mean basically don’t use her past to start a fight. Don’t use it to hurt her in any way and don’t let her use it to hurt you either. This is a relationship between the two of you, not t one between you, your ex’s, her ex’s, and the rest of the world. So keep it that way!
- I’m not going to say whether you’ll fight constantly or not because all relationships vary. But when you do fight stay calm. Don’t under any circumstances ever get violent. Try to rationalize things, and if you feel like you are at a boiling point then walk away. Don’t walk away from the relationship at the first chance but walk away from the confrontation that could lead to something physical. Take some time to allow yourself and your mind to settle, then go back and talk it out. This goes back to the open relationship thing. Never underestimate the charm of talking things out. Just that little thing will make the relationship healthier and more bearable for the both of you.
- Now I’m never going to promote having sex at that age or before marriage, but if you two are going to be going down that road then I suggest asking her to be tested for any types of std’s or any other thing you can catch. Don’t bring it up in a rude way or make her feel like she isn’t trusted or wanted, just be cautious and offer to get the same tests done. It’s always a good idea to have your partner tested before you do sleep together just on the chance that they do carry something. Getting a test like that done isn’t something you should ask to make somebody feel uncomfortable, it’s just taking precaution and being safe. In today’s society people tend to sleep around more so it’s easier for our generation to carry some sort of sexually transmitted disease. If you or you’re partner has had sex before getting together with you then you should always be willing to go through testing. Afterall, even sleeping together could lead to something you’ll carry for the rest of your life.
I’m not an expert at relationships or anything like that, and I don’t know every key to having a perfect one, but I do know how to make one healthier and worth having. I hope that this helps you in some way. Never judge a book by it’s cover and don’t forget that this girl has trusted you enough to be honest about her past so don’t be afraid to be the game changer for her. Thanks so much for the question and never hesitate to ask me for help off anon dear. I promise I don’t put anyone’s personal requests on blast. I wish you two the best in this relationship whether it remain a friendship or turn into something more!
I know a boy.. and I really like him. But he is not calling or answering my messages. So what do you think should I do?
Give him some space. He could be shy or it could be that he doesn’t want to lead you on. Also, with it being summer and all, it could be that he’s just busy. I know that when I’m busy there’s only one person I reply to unless it’s my mother or a family member. Does this boy know that you like him? If not then maybe he’s blind to your hints, if you’ve even hinted at it. It could also be a maturity thing. Some people mature faster than others and so he might not have hit that maturity level with girls yet. It all depends on the situation. If you’ll come off anon and give me more information I can give you an answer that’s more straightforward. I’ll talk to you in private, I promise. I don’t bite lovely little anon.
I don't really care that much what her name is, but can you give a general explanation as to how you know her if she lives across the ocean from you?
I know several people that live in various areas of the world. I’ve met them from tumblr, facebook, the traveling that I do myself, and more. I mean I’ll be in the same town as she is within the next year for a few months due to traveling, as always. Personally I met her through some common interests and a few friends that I’d already known, and we’ve just somehow stuck together since.
ou've been asked this before but whats something you'd tell her right now if you had the courage
Haha oh gosh. I honestly believe that these are the best questions I have to reply to. However, I could write a novel if I answered this truthfully so unless you’re up for that then I’ll try to keep this shorter.
If I had the chance to say anything it’d be set out as me flying all the way across that damn sea and taking her out like I’ve promised. Aha I actually was begged to do a surprise visit to her earlier today and it was kind of nerve wracking, however I didn’t go due to being busy and her still being in school.
Anyways, back to the actual answering here!
I’d show up at her school with and pick her and her best friend up ‘cause I can’t just take her alone it’d be too weird. Anyways, I’d take her and her friend out to Nandos, because that’s like her favorite restaurant and I want to give her whatever makes her happy. After that I’d take her friend home, if she’d let me.
Then if that worked out I’d take her to the beach ‘cause we had a conversation one night about walking on the beach late at night and staying up talking till six. Then I’d let her walk a little bit away from me and as I made my way to her I’d let her know that she was beautiful and completely not the bitch she seems to think she is. I’d let her know that she makes me laugh almost every day and even though I get tongue tied around her, she makes me happy. She understands me when my words make no sense, or atleast she tries aha. She’s never been treated kindly and she deserves that more than anything. I’d apologize for all of the assholes in the world who’ve been mean and hurt her. I’d apologize for the boy that broker her heart and then I’d lift her up, spin her around, and kiss her just as I promised.
That’s the gist of what I’d do because honestly what I’d say or do would take hours to explain if I went into detail. I’m already a wreck answering and I’m not even telling her this aha.
You can go ahead and deem this the worst answer in the history of bad answers.
What's the hardest part about not being with your girl?
I’ll try to break this down in an organized manner as much as possible because there are alot of downs to not being with her, however there are a ton of ups as well.
- It gets hard sometimes considering that I can’t just hold her whenever I get the urge to.
- I can’t just get in the car and go to her as fast as I’d like.
- When I can’t sleep there’s an hour difference that makes it hard to contact her and she’s usually already been asleep for several hours; plus I wouldn’t won’t to wake her.
- I can’t take her out and show her off to the world.
- She’s across an entire ocean therefore I can’t just go see her.
- I can’t talk to her twenty-four seven considering that she’s six hours ahead of me and needs her sleep.
- She has a life as I do and so I only get her for a couple of hours a day.
- We’re both asleep when the other is awake.
Now onto the positives
- I can surprise visit her.
- When we are together it’ll be that much more of a special time.
- If the relationship/friendship can last through such a huge gap with distance then it’ll be ten times stronger when there isn’t distance.
- The couple of hours a day that I do get to see her are the best hours of my day.
Honestly there’s always going to be hard things about not being with the girl I like, and I suppose jealousy is a major one, but if she still makes me happy at the end of the day then there’s nothing to worry about. There’s nothing that make me happier than her currently and I’m happy with the way things are. Just living in the moment with her is a nice feeling and I’m more than happy to do it for as long as it lasts.
So, for those who are dealing with distance and feel like long distance relationships will kill you, this is what I have to say:
Don’t give up. There will always be positives and negatives that go along with being in any relationship, but the ones with distance tend to last longer. So don’t believe all of the haters who say that distance isn’t worth it. I promise it is.
Have a wonderful day and thanks for the question mate!
You have a great day too, and happy july 4th :)
Thank you darling! I had a wonderful day. Happy late 4th to you as well(: